


Pan(cake)sexual

by pancake_worshipper



Category: Persona 5, Splatoon, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Out of Character, Pancakes, Yum, detective prince akechi i guess, no one read this or revised except ME, pancakes are the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27046030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pancake_worshipper/pseuds/pancake_worshipper
Summary: my friend told me to write this so i didi have no regrets
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Pearl (Splatoon), Akechi Goro/Pearl Houzuki
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Pan(cake)sexual

Akechi blinked. One moment he was in that engine room, mulling over his life and begging the Phantom Thieves to punish Shido for him, and another moment he was in this… strange tournament. He hadn’t entered himself into the competition, but since Joker had apparently entered and he was considered his friend (He wouldn’t admit feeling a little bit happy at that) he was allowed to stay there and watch the tournament. He sighed, deciding to look around and see what he could do while the tournament ran.

Pearl was excited. The new fighter seemed really cool, and she was sure that their inklings would absolutely stomp him to the ground- but that wasn’t why. No- it was because upon glimpsing the bewildered brown-haired boy behind Joker, she knew that he was a fellow pancake-lover. She was absolutely sure they would hit it off. 

They first met in the local Ihop. Pearl, almost vibrating with excitement, blurted out “Can I sit with you? I knew from the moment I saw you! You are a Pancake Lover!” Akechi panicked, looking around. “Be quiet! The Waffle Lords are everywhere these days. They claim that waffles are superior… disgusting. It makes me want to vomit, but I will not because I would never disrespect the Pancakes by daring to vomit them up.” Pearl covered her mouth. “You… I agree with you completely!” Akechi brushed a tear from his eye.  
“Truly, we were destined to meet. Here is my phone number so we may talk about this more, safe from prying eyes.” 

Their next date was scheduled at Denny’s. Akechi sat, looking down at Pearl and marveling at her forehead. It was a vast surface, comparable to the top of a stack of pancakes in its vastness and smoothness. Pearl, on the other hand, flushed as she looked at his rust-red eyes so similar to a shade of maple syrup and his beautiful light brown locks that so resembled pancakes in hue. Akechi noticed her looking back at him and immediately turned his gaze away to hide his own blush, staring at his delectable pancakes.

“What the eff? Man, where’s Akechi? He’s never this friggin’ late.” Ryuji groaned. Haru smiled. “He is currently out on a date with a famous squid girl idol at the local Denny’s.” Ann froze, clearly not processing the sentence. “He took her out to Denny’s.” “Yes.” “How do you know this information?” Ann was clearly a little freaked out. “I bought out KFC and one of the employees at the KFC near the Denny’s kindly informed me.” Haru smiled. “For real? Remind me never to make you mad, man.” Yusuke turned the corner holding a fish tank full of lobsters. “Does anyone wish to partake in admiring my muses with me?” No one answered.  
Akechi kneeled in front of Pearl, finally coming down to her height. He held out a plate and upon the plate there were pancakes. Not just any pancakes, though- it was pancake art.

Badly done pancake art.

Of Akechi and Pearl holding hands.

“Will you be my pancake soulmate?” Akechi proclaimed, unabashedly staring at Pearl’s massive forehead. Wow, it seemed even larger than the last time he’d seen it somehow…

“Y..Yes!” Pearl sobbed, incredibly happy. She rushed forward and hugged him. 

“Do you, Goro ‘pancakemaster69’ Akechi, take Pearl ‘pancakelover420’ Houzuki to be your lawfully wedded pancake wife?” Johanna, Makoto’s pope motorcycle persona, asked. “I pancake do.” He wept tears of joy. ”And do you, Pearl-“ “I pancake do!” Pearl interrupted, excited. Johanna looked perturbed, as motorcycles sometimes do. “You may kiss the bride.” Marina, in the background, muttered something about waffles and Akechi shot her without looking at her as he bent down to kiss Pearl on the forehead.


End file.
